Photo by Micah Tasaka at Point Dune, Malibu, CA.

Photo by Micah Tasaka at Point Dune, Malibu, CA.

 
 

the day we met the whale.

 

i am motion

on the ocean

gaining momentum as I go

 

let the water

kiss me softly

tug me gently as I flow

 

graceful movements

graceless wandering

giving into the pull

 

as I spin with currents

humming stolen torrents

lusting after the rain

in the middle of summer

like we’ll never be happy

post-explosion

floating back down into

equal days and equal nights

let’s not fry our circuitry

before we get a chance

to set our satellite hearts

into orbit

where we will

only feel more lonely over time

by seeing the vast expanses

and how little space

we actually take up

and in rotating

pass through yet another veil

and nurture our

nervous systems

to live through this

yet again

 

but I just

keep writing around in circles

like a blister

ready to be popped

my feet won’t go

unless I

shed

everything.

there is only so much room

in my closets

stuck in pockets

my seeds refusing to grow

will you let me know

where I’m going

so I can start

thinking about

maybe

possibly

contemplating

walking that way

 

i just don’t know

which direction to blow

this

longwinded poet

stuck in falling verse

forever splintered

aborting every birth

before it can

take root in the

oxygen

and curl its mother

back into hiding

 

i was told to never eat

forbidden fruits

but

i ate several

and my lips

now stained with juice

have never been sweeter

and I am still processing

the reaping of my

severed farmer lineage

while wishing to see the

ocean again

may I always be born a dreamer

in each incarnation

may I be

a lover of love

a daughter of

fallen syllables

on kissed lips

a son of planets spinning

broken into many pieces

each one cherished

and slowly reassembled

in building higher temples

so we can see the moon

above the trees

the blue sky above

the thunder storms

that used to

make us quiver

and doubt our own

ferocity

now, we just laugh with them instead.

the knowledge of good and evil

is knowledge nonetheless

i watch as you

devour my fears

and empty me of my

emptiness

to be pushed back

into the earth

stories to be told once more

lost on children’s tongues

who didn’t know any better

but to speak in the language

pulsing directly through them

may we not be

stuck in our movements

where our feet don’t touch the ground

let me hold in my hands

mulched earth

to remind me where I am

as I lose all my

petals to gray hairs

resting in in-pieces

dreams

now never to be

awakened from winter

some of the crops

didn’t make it

but still we must

plant seeds each season

or starve in the next

self-preservation

we do it best

when we work with

each other

instead of against

to till the earth of

waist-high weeds

and empty our

menstrual blood

into the fertilizer

waiting for the instance

to turn infared

and be born again

as flowers

created of softness

our tender hearts

to be nurtured into growing

giving up our blame

released from our fences

our shame

to hang on the clothesline

in the wind

we will make it through

our planets

spinning backwards

reversed at the core

let me empty my emotion

in cups

let the waterfall pour

my fragile sharpness

back into sunsetting

back into sweetness

silhouetted on

fields of poppies

and remember why

i still keep breathing

each day

to get me through

a million more

as heartbreak

slows time so I can

feel every aching

so I can love

every ailment

bruised knuckles

and swollen eyes

i will learn you

study your mapping

explore the depths of your

ocean floors

to find myself

again and again

emptied of shards

scars dissolving

i will find other ways

to love you

from such distances

as deserts grow more vast

as our sentiment

degrades into grass roots

cordial passings

where we will know

the boundaries of our properties

and communicate our agreements

for where the land

can do nothing else but touch

and forgive ourselves

for every shortcoming

every tattered page

as life just

keeps living through us

and past our

small expanses

relapsed retrograde revolutions

where I will

chase every sunset

every lost butterfly

every beat of my heart

past all your smallness

past all my

stubborn pride

to rearrange my body

to point more directly

to the stars that birthed me

to the lonely nights

where I can do nothing else

but lose my mind

and love the journey

to get me back to my body

as you pull me to the shore

where I will

kiss the sand

and position my hands

to create magic

out of broken mirrors

and push the energy

to herald before me

as I step into

the life I chose

and never give into

the desire to fall

into fertilized

earthworm food

until I am suppoed to

give up my last breath

and go shooting off into stardust

humming the ocean’s song

as I pick up my petals

and return them to the earth

infused in memory

soon to be rebirthed

 

in all fairness

i heard you out

but I still

am going to

keep walking away

in all honesty

i

am still going to just

keep living my life

with or

without

 

                        you